Crash! Bang! Thud!
Me: What’s going on in there?
Hiyu: We’re doing an inspection and you aren’t passing.
Loki: Relax, you’re mostly passing.
Kuri: Where do you keep the crockpot and all the big kitchen appliances?
Hiyu: We’re doing a CERT Preparedness Inspection.
Loki: Remember, we formed our own type of CERT. We are now a Cat Emergency Response Team.
Hiyu: And you can’t help others until you take care of yourself.
Loki: Yeah, the mantra is “you’re number one”, then “what about you?” If you can’t take care of yourself, you can’t take care of others.
Kuri: Found them. All heavy appliances on the bottom shelf where they can’t fall on your head. Good for you.
Me: You guys still aren’t allowed in the cupboards.
Kuri: Fine, I’ll get on them. Is that better?
Me: What makes you guys think it’s okay to destroy the kitchen?
Hiyu: Official business. We’re pretending to be an earthquake.
Loki: I like practicing opening things anyway.
Kuri: Who knew we would be so good at mayhem and mischief?
Hiyu: I did.
Me: You knock those dishes to the floor and there will be no laser tag for a week.
Kuri: We’re done with the kitchen anyway. Loki and I are going to throw our weight around and see how much furniture we can knock down.
Me: You’re getting a time out.
Loki: Does that mean you don’t have all the furniture attached to the walls? What about these bookshelves?
Me: We’re not getting rid of the books.
Loki: You aren’t going to stop us from making sure you’re earthquake ready.
Hiyu: I HAVE A BRILLIANT IDEA! You can rent us out as CERT Earthquake Inspectors. If we can destroy a house, then you’re in trouble if a big earthquake comes.
Me; (carrying three large, squirming cats in my arms): Enjoy the playroom.
Hiyu: Wait! At least run our previous post about how we created the Cat Emergency Response Team. Our readers will want to know.
Loki: Yeah, someone might have missed it.
Me: Fine. I’ll put the original post at the bottom of this one. Happy?
Kuri: May we come out now?
Me: Not yet. Run off some of that energy and then you can sit on my legs while I get some computer work done. Right now, I’m wishing all of our readers an easier time in their preparedness preparations.
As promised, the original post:
Hiyu: You’re a CERT.
Me: Yes, and…
Kuri: We’ve decided we want to be CERT.
Me: You want to be a part of a Citizen Emergency Response Team?
Loki: Something like that.
Me: You guys aren’t exactly citizens and you don’t have opposable thumbs or…
Hiyu: We know all that.
Kuri: Yeah, we want to form our own CERT.
Loki: It’s brilliant and we can help other cats.
Kuri: Even dogs. We could help dogs.
Me: Let me explain a little bit about CERT.
Loki: We’re going to make our own CERT.
Hiyu: Yes, we’ve figured it all out.
Kuri: We’re going to be a Cat Emergency Response Team.
Me: Cat Emergency Response?
Kuri: I’m going to educate the public about having emergency rations & toys for all of their companions.
Loki: And I’m going to help with post-disaster mental health. I’m good at purring.
Hiyu: You can make little first aid packs for us.
Me: I’m not sure.
Kuri: We can help with search and rescue.
Hiyu: I can get to high places and I’m small enough to get into little places.
Me: That’s quite a dream you guys have there.
Hiyu: If it’s important to you then it’s important to us.
Kuri: You know how much we like to help. I even have an outfit for it. I can do security detail.
Me: You know I’ve got you guys covered. Your Emergency Go Crate is well stocked with food, water and toys. Your pictures, descriptions and up-to-date vaccination records are also there.
Loki: Why do we need more than toys and food.
Me: In case we have to evacuate. Human shelters only allow service animals and if I need to get you boarding then they need all of your records.
Kuri: I’m not going to be boarded. I’m going to be in the thick of it.
Hiyu: That’s why we’re forming our own Cat Emergency Team. We want to be part of the solution.
Me: My hope is that if there is a problem, you guys will take care of the house and the rest of the family while I’m out helping with recovery.
Hiyu: What if we agree to help birds?
Kuri: Or dogs or reptiles or–
Loki: Fish. I like to watch fish.
Me: I appreciate that you guys want to help.
Hiyu: So it’s settled. We’re your own Cat Emergency Response Team.
Me: I love you guys.
Hiyu: I can purr louder.
Kuri: Not as loud as I can.
Loki, Kuri and Hiyu: Purr, purr, PURR.
Me: May all you readers out there be safe and have a plan.